One of my biggest struggles I’ve faced in all of my life, is fitting in. Every single day, I face issues that I don’t talk about with anybody about who I fit in with. Firstly, as an openly gay man. I don’t feel like I fit into the LGBTQ+ community. Mainly because I find a lot of the ‘cliques’ within this group very small minded. A lot of people I have encountered have played up to their sexuality, and lived their life through this. I feel like I am more of an open-minded, free spirit that doesn’t want to ‘conform’ to a specific group of people.

Turn around, and look at my life in the deaf community. I’ve grown up going to deaf clubs, mingling and socialising with D/deaf people. However, I’m also an outsider here. This is because of my ‘hearing privilege’, which I completely understand it is a privilege. Obviously a lot of my work has been around deaf topics, but I’m still an outsider here too, as I’m not officially D/deaf.

Look at any social situations I’ve been in, I’ve always been the guy who’s slightly different. Don’t get me wrong, I’m completely proud of my differences, but sometimes it’s quite lonely. Not fitting into any boxes that society wants to label you as, is really tough. I am proud of who I am, and what I believe in, but finding somewhere that I am truly accepted is one of my life’s biggest challenges.

I have never spoken to anyone about this, and I think the reason I wanted to write a little about it, is because I’d love to know if there are other people who feel a similar way to myself. Are there more people out there who struggle to fit in? Why do they struggle? How do they cope? Please shine some light onto this issue!

10 Comments

  1. well one thing I know for sure is you fitted in perfectly with my work family..Team Flourish..last week wgen you visited us in Grimsby for the day. Many of our guys feel they don’t fit in but you made them feel on cloud 9 and for that i thank you drink the bottom of my heart 😍

    1. Thank you so much Caroline for your lovely comment! I really enjoyed my visit to Flourish! You were all so welcoming and lovely to be around. Hopefully we will get to meet again! x

  2. You are an amazing young man. I’m so sorry that you feel this way but I do understand what you are saying. I have children who don’t feel like they fit in and it breaks my heart.
    You have shown me through your videos, how beautiful sign language is and I agree that it should be taught in schools so that deaf children can be included, alongside teaching their hearing peers that other people don’t find life so simple.

    1. Thank you Lucy. I really do hope your children feel like they fit in very soon. The world needs to learn to love a bit more, and I’m sure your kids will be a part of that 🙂

  3. You don’t have to fit into a box Wayne. You just need to be happy being you. Those who accept you for who you are are the ones worth knowing. Unfortunately you will always come across the people who will find fault with everything you do. This is their problem not yours. They want everyone to fit into the small minded box they they live in.
    Your blogs are amazing and so are your singing and signing videos that I love to watch. Be yourself and be happy.

  4. So impressed with how you take time to teach us sign language through song, as this is the best way to remember signs. And your appearance is always immaculate. If we’re honest I think nearly everyone has these thoughts deep down but we are very good at disguising them. Huge blessings to you and your family x

    1. I’m glad I’m not the only one though, it makes me feel so much more ‘normal’ when others have the same feelings. Thank you, Ginny x

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